I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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