id be glad to
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
