Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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