she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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