what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
smell my finger.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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