they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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