I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize