i think my tv is drunk
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
