And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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