what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."