i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.