i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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