ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
