so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
