I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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