the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
