just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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