What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
