Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
