i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
