when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
