is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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