Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
