we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
