Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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