On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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