I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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