Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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