That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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