Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize