last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My penis needs a shock collar
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize