I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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