We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
you never un-have a 4some
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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