Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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