all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
