Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize