May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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