What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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