Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
