I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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