She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize