I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
