Fuck appropriateness.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
