I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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