does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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