your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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