I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
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I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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