weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
