Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
