you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
