Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
