just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
