i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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