I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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