I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
