you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
