I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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