worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
